Hey blog viewers, so it's post # 4 (i'm not letting you win procrastination!) and a lot has transpired since my last entry. Yesterday, I had a divine moment which brought me back on to the road I'm supposed to be taking, after straying for a bit. Now I should mention here that although I have never been a big fan of religion (although I do concur it is the opium of the masses yet overrun with discrepancies, hypocrisy etc.) I am a firm believer in a Higher Power, the Creator of Life, a.k.a, God. I have always had faith in Him as there have been several instances throughout my life where I simply KNEW it could not be just the work of the 'positive vibrations of the Universe/Laws of Attraction'...it was simply bigger than that.
This post is not going to be a debate about the existence of God and 'if he exists then why all the pain and suffering in the world'...I'm done with questioning because it only serves to make me depressed and drive me crazy! Might as well live life while I still have the privilege to do so rather than waste time asking and wondering why, how etc and driving myself mad!
So anyways, back to the point of this post...as you know from reading previous posts, I feel like I've been to hell and back with this insonia/anxiety illness over the past 3 yrs that threatened to devastate my life. It's been a roller coaster of progression (up) and then regression (down). Over the past week, I've been the latter. After a couple days before held promise, 1 sleepless night (as in NO SLEEP) turned into another and then another, and then another...until I felt myself sinking into that dark yet familiar place of depression and hopelessness. I again stopped working, I stopped attending yoga classes cuz I felt too exhausted and jaded to do any form of physical activity and basically I was back to just existing.
Then came yesterday. A simple weekly visit by a certain special someone turned out to be an amazing gift of divine proportions...yesterday began badly with me feeling physically unwell due to a severe lack of sleep and so I was feeling bummy even with my visitor's arrival. Later during the day, while watching tv...during commercials we began talking and discussing issues like Life in general which then led to me and my 'situation'. (I don't want to go into too much detail here cuz it's private) but we talked and talked and talked and just from what I was being advised and told and just from the nature of that long moment...I just knew that it was a message from God...afterwards when I was alone, I went outside in my yard where it had been raining all day...and suddenly the sun came out and I just felt this sort of inner peace, this contentment, this inexplainable sudden happiness that made me cry not out of sadness but hope that everything's going to be ok. I felt instant gratitude towards God because my faith which had been dampened before was instantly restored. I went to bed that night full of just this contentment and belief that it will be ok...ande guess what I slept ok! Not great cuz I woke up at some extremely early hour of the a.m but I got out of bed ready to seize the day! Carpe Diem! I finally got back to my yoga and excercise with a smile on my face and hop in my step! I just needed that little pat on the back from Him...just a little sign of hope that 'Hey Chelsea, I know a lot is going on in the world...but you are going to make it through.' And for that Lord, I am supremely grateful as I needed that. Now I'm back to keeping and holding on to that faith even during the dark times...though I may still feel a wee bit sad about the situation w my lack of sleep etc...compared to months before I feel absolutely great...I am no longer that supremely anxious, depressed, scared, pessimistic person as I was before...I can see and feel the progress...I am gradually returning to the 'old' me...the me who was passionate and excited about life...but this me is just a wee bit different and new in the sense that although I'm slowly getting back to a state of wellbeing that I had before this insomnia etc occured...I am a changed person...my whole outlook on life has changed for the best and for that I am grateful. I've come to realize that worrying is wasteless and useless in times like these.
Times are difficult, daunting and scary...but why give in to it? After all, all one can really do in this life is have hope and faith, be positive and continue to persevere despite the odds...Once we lose that hope, faith and motivation...we become lost souls simply existing rather than living....
'Hope nurtures the soul as a cupped hand protects a flame.'
Hey all, sorry about the late post but I've been going through quite a bit over the last few days! Anyways, so I decided to centre post #3 around healthy nutrition after noticing changes in my sleep & anxiety issues (refer to post #1 & #2) when I switched to better eating habits. Now I'm no nutritionist but I can attest to the fact that my body went through real changes after eating healthier. Also, I have been doing tons of research and reading over the past 3 years of living with severe chronic and insomnia and major anxiety. Not surprisingly, proper foods and nutrition make a HUGE difference in overall well being, affecting things like the amount of positive brain chemicals you produce which are responsible for everything from how you deal with stress to how you sleep at night.
But firstly, a quick update on my progress thus far (refer 2 post 1&2 if ur confused):
I'm back out at work (yay!) yay cuz I'm keeping busy during the day and still have my translations on the side as extra income (staying home and doing nothing constructive with your life is a sure way 2 get sad and depressed easily...it's best 2 get out there and DO something.) I'm also continuing my Yoga (LOVE IT) and starting gym. (making up for all the years of non-physical activity!) Although I still have 1 or 2 nights where I find difficulty falling asleep, there have been several nights where i DO sleep for at least 4-5 hrs and wake up feeling great the next day, able 2 function. I've even been able 2 go out late again with friend & stay up late and watch movies w/mom (which although may seem insignificant, are actually milestones for me...things I wasn't able to do a couple months ago where I had to be in bed by 7pm cuz I was to exhausted to do anything else.) However I've realized I need to fully wait till my body gets accustomed to sleeping...cuz after going out for the past few wkends past my 'bedtime', i've fallen BACK into bad sleep :( SO i have to start over and get my body reaccustomed...lesson learnt: Wait at LEAST a few months/ Go out during the day and get home by 9pm...early i know but i'd rather get my health back in order thank very much!
So despite the few setbacks, I no longer cry or get anxious and depressed about the sleep stuff.. My whole perspective has changed so that I strive to keep negativity out of my life. However, lately, other branches of Life's tree have been bothering me...and thus disrupting my sleep for the past few nights *sigh* ...so I just need 2 learn how 2 cope with things that upset me andhow to not let it affect my sleep....but anyways, this experience is surely a stepping stone 2 greater things and I needed 2 learn how 2 handle it. It's not what you endure in life but how you endure it. I'm just glad to be back on track, keeping my head high and keeping the faith.
"Your Health is Your Wealth."- The mantra of the old fogies. At 23 I'm finally realizing they TRULY DO know what they're talking about! lol. With age comes wisdom. Ever since my new health-conscious state, I can now assure you that Ignorance is NOT Bliss. A lack of knowledge of proper, healthy, daily nutrition, spurned by the recent onslaught of microwave EVERYTHING from pizza to italian pastas to soups, veggie lasagnes etc, has resulted in a fast-paced society characterised by instant gratification.
"Ready in 3-5 minutes" are the words any busy, working person (particularly mothers & students) dream of as they are a great time-saver. But what are the disadvantages and prices to pay for this quick n'easy lifestyle when it comes to our health?
It is scientifically proven that this pop-in-the-microwave-and-eat approach carries a host of ramifications on our long-term health as these items contain artificial flavouring,preservatives (to keep taste & quality while frozen), sodium etc which all increase the risks of dieseases such as cancer, diabetes, hypertension etc. Check this link out for a shocking dose of reality:
Nope, it's not ice cream peeps!! it's CHICKEN used in patties, nuggest, McDonald's etc etc...I kid you not...I wish I were joking...check out the eye opening link here for more information....GET AWARE!
http://docakilah.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/can-you-guess-what-mcdonald%E2%80%99s-food-item-this-is/
So why is all this stuff bad for you? Simply put, our bodies have to work overtime to process the 'fake ingredients' put into these 'real' food dishes. But it's just soooo easy!!! *sigh* anyways so I cut out all that stuff, started taking the time 2 eat fruits,make my own salads (minus the sald dressing) and make my own dishes....well help mommy make my own dishes (lol...yea yea i'm still working on thecooking thing!!!) Cuz being bombarded by all the info of eating this leads 2 cancer (I blame yet thank YOU Dr.Oz) just made me realize how much crap i was putting into my system at a very young age (I'm talking choclate/junkfood overload from like 10!)
So for example, I began eating more whole grain stuff like whole grain gluten free ezekiel bread, whole grain pasta, cracker setc with more egg,tuna etc and less deli meat, chicken and all that stuff. I also eat tons more veggies and fruits (blueberries,strawberries,grapes,apples,pears,kiwi,carrots,spinach,tomatoes,cucumbers etc) and for a sugar craving i eat chocolate covered almonds and hazenuts! I've cut out my sugar intake(no more softdrinks,only 100%juice and just one cup a day,no more refined sugary treats...bye bye Oreos,) as well as unnecessary carbs (no more bingeing on bags of doritos and sunchips when bored) Now I just drink tons of water or chew gum (which I'm slowly cutting out due to the high levels of aspartame (cancer causing artificial flavourings and sweeteners).
Not surprisingly, ever since these changes and incorporating my lil excercise (yoga and walking), I have been feeling better and I have already lost weight in my problem zones! And it's happened really fast!
So I advise you all who don't know why you're feeling sick and ill, sluggish and tired...do some research....I love Dr.Oz's Website and shows http://www.doctoroz.com/ ...good stuff not just info the docs tell u but alternate options also for our health woes and just search your issue in the search bar or...google it...(seriously) and TRY IT...it really does work, I'm living proof! :)
